And the stroll continues…

As I stroll down the road soaking in the bright sun, I can’t help but think of the worlds I belong to. I kick the stone lying on the footpath and go on with my thoughts- uninterrupted. I can still feel the warmth of the hot coffee mug nestled in my curled fingers. Easy conversations and tiffs come rushing back. Our laughter still hangs thick on the trees around the tea stall and your glass still rests there. Crackles, flowers and the purple toothbrush I cherish them all. Bus rides and long hours of wait. I can still smell the smoke in my hair and on your palms. Tears. Move on. Careful, the road takes a sharp turn. I sit alone and question myself. I relearn to laugh with my eyes and heart. The Magic is back again. New books, new characters and a newer world. Vain hours. Imagination at work. Color of the left. With zest splashed all over me, I embark on the journey again. Caught unaware this time. No boards read “caution: deep valley ahead”. I blush and smile. I feel like never before. I’m gulled to the cell phone 24*7. I Pinch myself. Insult my intuition. Smile even more. Dark road and us. The world is my oyster. Unheard melodies fill me up. I hear you breathe. I want to dance. I want to know but I ignore. I want to believe. I do. Pyrrhic joy. I banish my gut to dumps. Intoxicated fool. Not once, over and over again. Finally I shift lanes. The sun shines and the stroll continues. :)

surrender.

There are times I wish I wasn’t a part of. The seeds sown in those moments prick like thorns. I cut myself, see the blood gush out. It doesn’t hurt. I pierce through the bruise again and again. The pain has ceased. Whatever bleeds out isn’t blood anymore. I lay limp on the cold floor and see the crowds pass by. Cheerful faces, buoyant laughter, fuelled up souls I hate them all. I loathe the people I know, people I don’t know and those I might get acquainted to in the future. Darkness envelopes me and I don’t want to push it away. At least it promises to stand by me. I wish things were different. I wish I could feel the pinch,wallow in pain and cry out loud;rest my insecurities.But now I have surrendered.I am doped on indifference;towards one and all.I stand defeated.